Getting a bird a small conure in early July, I realized I bought a teacher. In the past few days I have learned much or maybe just remembered something.
I had wanted a pet like a dog that would love ME. Birds are not like that. They do not have that capacity in them to be all lovey dovey. They may get lonely and want some attention. THAT I find is the way of this bird. He was alone so long. Now I get home and in the past few days he BOLTS from his cage and flies around FREE! At first he challenged me and now… I laugh. I see him as my little comedian.
BE FREE MY LITTLE COMEDIAN!
I try to force food on him as he sits on a swing in a window and shits on the house plants. He moves from me but watches me. I used-to try to chase him to get him to sit on me then it dawned on me it was THAT ENERGY that scared him so much.
I am LEARNING from him to approach him with peace and some laughter held behind my teeth ready to flow out to him. This is perhaps the approach I need for people. Be patient be kind and be ready to laugh with them. Never AT them.
Ok with a comedian wearing feathers, yeah I laugh at him. I pay him with showers of food to just be himself and let me have a laugh. He can laugh at me, it’s ok. I wish I could make a bird laugh.
You see what kind of teacher the bird is?
Tonight I let him do what he wants. I heard him throwing a fit in his cage. Screeching. Instead of being angry I LAUGHED. I understood he wanted more food. I waved an apple core at him and he came out. Ahhhh mmmm apple! After a while I just stood and talked to him. POSITIVE things and that was like a mantra to me. I used words like “love” so many fear to speak. I told him how much I loved him. UNCONDITIONALLY.
Relearning, you see.
I could have a dog and it would love ME unconditionally. Maybe right now it is good that I realize it is ok to love another without expectations of any returned love or reward.
Feeling all that, I was surprised when, talking to him I offered my hand to him and he slowly walked onto it. Settled himself for a few minutes. I thanked him and gave him the pancake I eat each weekend. I save a few pieces for him. Sometimes I crumble it into his food. Tonight, he patiently ate bites of it from my fingers. I believe that my CALMING MYSELF with this bird allowed him to trust me.
Calm breeds trust.
One of or more than one of my face book friends told me one day that Maybe my bird was having a bad day when it was flying around tearing things up. Eating plants and trying to eat some paneling. I laughed at that.
Now I do not.
That is SO RIGHT. No matter your brain size, you can have a bad day. No matter how big or small we can have good and bad days. When my little friend is having a bad day, tune in to it and be patient. Just as I would we would with any friend or family member. Just BE THERE. Or give them space. Yeah, birds need space too 😉
I have always felt that life is full of teachers. We just need to be good students and open our selves to seeing them.
Such as this past weekend walking, I met an old woman with a cane. I had met her before. I gave her a friendly smiling “good morning” and she gave me a rather surprised pained look. I thought her an angry old woman or… just full of pain. I had seen her several times and always been nice to her. Saturday morning I met her. Stopped and wished her a good morning. She SMILED and said something about “no English” but it seems she was trying to learn. She smiled into my face and said, “god bless you”. I think that my being friendly to her and not treating her AS a stranger, a foreigner had added something to her life. Her urgency to say something in MY language meaningful to her meant something to me – even though I do not believe in a god. It was the feeling in what she said.
She was a teacher.
They are all over the place.
With feathers and all kinds of foreign accents.