Experiences, An Online Dating Site

Back in early Spring of this year, I joined a dating site with people from around the world. I was LONELY and honestly felt no great desire to go through the marriage thing with anyone unless a miracle was attached to it. I don’t believe in miracles. I was hoping for to ease my loneliness in life. I did by encountering and befriending a few VERY GOOD NICE PEOPLE. Others… made me feel SAD.  Sometimes dirty. 

The worst of those I encountered were women that ridiculed my age and sometimes just assumed I was or am an old pervert. One said I am SO OLD I have “one foot in the grave”. I wondered which foot and how deep it is.

Others wanted money for video sex shows. I told them thanks but I can see better on Porn Hub. I DO admit that I joked to women about sex and naked stuff but that may be just how so many American men are. We are more stupid about such things than others or maybe it is just me. 

Some KIDS or very young women showed a baby and said they needed money for the baby because the father left them etc…. how true I had no idea. I told them I could not and would not give money and suddenly they lost interest in that nice handsome old man 😉 

2 women wanted me to “sponsor” their birthdays. 1 tempted me by showing herself in a bra. I said ok if you want me to pay for your birthday party be naked for me. SUDDENLY she was a very moral person and got upset with me! How could I SAY such a thing! I told her, “if you can ask someone for money to pay for a fucking birthday party you can show your naked ass!” She lost interest in me. 

Ahhhh and one of the last women was a mother of 5 whose husband had dumped her after beating her. Sent me a nude pic which to me said, “NO! This woman did not have ANY kids!”. I never saw her on webcam and thus had a laugh about it.

Other women my age scared me: WARNING! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU HAVE A HIGH FAT DIET AND NO EXERCISE! They inspired me to take a look at myself in the mirror and feel disgusted. YES! I AM A FAT PIG THESE DAYS! 

There was one woman that had some of the biggest breasts I have ever seen. Young woman. Always suspicious of such women being so young and interested in ME. She did the standard, “Oh I LIKE older men!” And I would reply to such a comment with: “NOT if you have seen some fat old bastard with a tiny limp dick and a big sagging belly in the shower!”.  THAT woman had a lot of cleavage showing in her profile pic. I wondered what her game was. She asked me if I liked big breasts. I told her breast size is not a big thing to me. Ok bad choice of words there. She sent me 3 pics of her body.  HUGE breasts! TIGHT skinned. Surprisingly flat abdomen. I said something like very nice but I think breast reduction is a good idea in the future. She surprisingly agreed. The next day I asked how she was and (drum roll here it comes…….!) ……………….. She said she was hungry and did not have money for food. Yes she had money for internet service but not for food. I could see what her game was. Cynical me. Show your boobs to many men then get the pity and hardship going. Same thing with many that had kids and needed diaper money etc. Many years ago I talked to a woman that had worked a dating site. She told me bluntly that there are groups of women recruited with babies or even borrow the babies of others to do that heart string pull thing for money. 

As a bit of a shit and a realist, when some told me they needed money and were doing their begging or wanting money for a birthday party or this or that I suggested they do the naked webcam thing for money which is profitable if they do it right. I told them just do not show your face! IRONY IS… is ok to BEG for money on dating sites but not to go … THERE and do THAT.  If someone wants to insult me by trying to play me I will throw it back at them. 

I am an Atheist. Many on the site were filipinos who were deeply religious but had had men that may have gone to confession a lot but left and sinned a lot more. The women were often horrified that I did not believe in god!

The BEST women I met were… Buddhist. Very cool people. Not throwing religion around but I DID notice a big flaw in Buddhist CULTURE around the world: Investment in temples, statues and materialism related to Buddhism. The Buddha stressed NON MATERIALISM and yet his followers invest much in material to praise and worship someone that never wanted to be worshipped. He was not a god or deity of any kind. Yet so much is spent on Buddhist STUFF. Take all that money and invest it in PEOPLE AND ANIMAL WELFARE! Go plant a forest with all those offerings. Make more monks WORK.  The Buddhist women I have encountered have been enlightening to me in how they live clean lives. I admire and respect that now. 

One of the most amusing things I found on that dating site were Russian and Ukrainian women that all looked like models. They wanted my email address to send me photos. I told them … VIDEO CHAT! They were I am sure all fake. I believe there is a racket in the collection of email addresses for the purpose of spam. Similar with PHONE NUMBERS used on such chat apps as WhatsApp and Line. The Chinese WeChat is an app where there Chinese government watches users. This I learned from computer tech people I have encountered. 

I learned a lot about MEN from talking to women on that site. I passed along the information to total strangers I saw as needing it. Amusingly, several left because of the information I passed along. 

MEN on some dating sites will try to get money from women. They will lie a lot. Some men are only on sites for sex. They get several women from a country and say they are the ONLY one and then go have sex with several women in the same country. That is a lot of money and 0 conscience. Lying is the main thing the men do. One woman told me how she gave a man money. Another was one of several sex partners of one man. I helped her with her self esteem and found out once she got her confidence back she was an egotist and narcissist. Many men just want to get women naked. Yes true I JOKE about it and make jokes about women SHOWERING but… that once blew-up in my face. I have to be careful with what I joke about. I once joked about it with a woman on Facebook and thought nothing of it. Then she made a video call to me WHEN SHE WAS IN THE SHOWER! It turns out she had a nice face but…. A HUGE BODY! She was folds of fat and wet and had her hand up her pussy sticking her tongue out at me. There are horrors in life we wish we could block or erase. THAT is one of them. I backed-off on bad shower jokes after that….

I admit I FELT for so many women I read the profiles of and BRIEFLY chatted with. So many with very painful stories. How badly men treated them. So many that due to life style choices looked to me like they would never attract a man. There were people suffering obesity. I could see heavy smoking and even alcohol abuse in the faces of others. So many had distorted views of what makes a marriage and a loving relationship. I recall one woman asked me to go to her country where she would cook me food, do all my house work and I felt sick about it and said, “I can do all that myself. I don’t want a woman to be a slave to me!”

What I left the dating site with was a sick sense of SADNESS about so many relationships and people. So many men are on those sites ONLY to manipulate women to be naked. One thing for me to joke about it but damn… other guys were serious! What is the reward for them? MIND FUCKING WOMEN! Being predators. MANIPULATING THEM. As I told some women: “If a man asks that of you, tell them to go to a porn site and jerk off there”.  

I learned through talking to the women on the dating site A GREATER EMPATHY AND COMPASSION FOR WOMEN. I see more of what women face in the world because of men. Their challenges. Their pains, hopes, dreams and desires. In THAT it was worth the price of paying 

One thing I have not been open about to many women and I will liberate myself in saying HERE:  Sexually I am a DUD. I cannot DO anything but dream like the dirty old man so many assume I am. I am still alive in mind and emotion but… dead in physical ways. I can be friendly with women but beyond that I am LITERALLY fucking useless. 

I went there seeking friendship and did find some nice people. I think my time for marriage has come and gone in life. Then again… if an idiot can become president of the USA then maybe I can get laid again 😉

I give up and am now just focusing on survival and being a better person and… never again tossing out that lame joke about showers. Wait… here that noise? That was me tossing out all the sexual innuendos and bad jokes about it. 

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