I just read that Rick Ocasek, the one-time leader of The Cars, a rock group of my youth, has died, age 75. There is often a chill that runs through me reading about such deaths as his. I remember him only as a young man just as I remember so MANY entertainers, rock musicians of my youth as young men and women. In their prime and then…I read of their deaths. So many it seems. It makes me feel MY age. A reminder of MY mortality of how they were the big kids living the wild dream when I was a wild kid. Now they are old and dying out but still young in my mind and their music I sometimes listen to. I sometimes wonder, while listening to song from my youth, “Is that singer still alive? What of the others that were in that band?” THEIR dying is a chilling reminder of, “your next!” Just as there were warnings when I was young, when rockers died from their excesses and hedonistic life styles. Warnings I often ignored but warnings that scared me. “Don’t stay on THIS path. Quit that shit you been doing or you will end-up like them but without the glory.
At times, seeing yet another rocker death or some actor or actress’s notice of death, I feel I am getting closer to that fate. The Reaper is reminding me in headlines and obituaries of my time is getting closer. It is a selfish taunting
I recall my parents noting people THEY grew up being entertained by, dying out. There became fewer and fewer of THEM as they got older and a morbid fascination reading the obituaries of THEIR gods.
My gods are often fat, grey haired or bald now. Some still trying to be rock and pop stars. The actors finding less work or not work for A list celebrities. Then they too are found dead. Cancer today took the life of…
I look around and see the life I am living. Shake my head and keep pushing to live clean and despite the cynicism of some in that I will die of something some time, I am TRYING to live longer than so many of the gods of my youth. At the same time I wonder if the old gods are lonely. Almost forgotten but hanging on.
Like me like WE.
We all hanging on and watching the Idols go from Billboard magazine front page to… back page obituaries in the main stream news.