Today at work, remembering my mother (who died in 2001) I had a new insight into our relationship. I was very close to her due to being the “baby” or last born of the kids. I nearly died a few times. 18 months and then later a fall through some ice I tactfully told mom about later. I was the troubled kid that was put into a mental hospital at age 7. Outpatient. Anxiety disorder. No idea what they called it back in the ’60’s. It left it’s scars. Later I was the druggy drunk kid and adult. When I got a decent job and moved out of my parents house, I would call mom one or 2 times a day. Something like that. Or not for a few days. Depending on the mood and dramas. Mom was always concerned. He little boy was always a fucking SOAP OPERA! 😉 I still have amused memories of mom gasping in disbelief as I told her about some romantic thing with a woman or work happening. Dad hearing her and yelling at ME to not excite mom! I know he was jealous. You see the INSIGHT here comes remembering her reactions and her boring house wife life. Raising a family and then when the kids gone, caring for her retired grouchier and grouchier husband.

I was entertainment for mom. I gave her adventures in the rough world of the factory. I sadly told her about some of my drinking and humorous stupid things doing that. I hurt myself a lot but never went to jail much to mom’s relief. My adventures in all my tragedies gave her life more life. I sit here snickering thinking about how my crazy life was better than a lot of TV. I would make mom LAUGH too. I seem to have inherited a sense of humor from dad. I know mom looked forward to hearing my stories. Scott, the wild man of the family 😉

Eventually I got my shit together.I saw I was an alcoholic and quit. Not a hard had bad drinker just… someone that drank enough to realize they could not stop and would eventually kill themselves or others as well. I remember calling mom and telling her after some months I had quit and was doing well. A pause on the line. Then, “Scott, you’ve finally grown-up”. That happened before she got cancer. When she was dying she had the comfort of knowing her son had quit being an extreme asshole 😉 As she was dying I continued to call her and try to entertain her. Not with tragedy and stupidity but just… life.

I have good memories of mom. I don’t need a Mother’s Day to think lovingly of her 😉

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