Sometimes I wonder about them
I so old now
They….. did they become as old as I?
The bullies and bad guys of my youth
The twisted people with the nice open smiles
Deception clasped tight in their fist behind their backs.
I wonder about that kid that had that odd punk accent
That would hit me and wait for me to hit back
Not doing so,
Seeing me cower from him,
He hit again
And again until…
I wonder whatever happened to him?
I looked for him on Facebook.
On the net
Maybe I should have looked for him in prisons
Or unmarked graves.
Because how we react to bullies and bad guys is about US,
I hope Vincent,
You changed and lived harmlessly ever after.
I wonder about the group that stole that safe from my basement
Then looked me in the eye
Stammering their innocence when I knew,
They were guilty as hell.
Off the radar.
Hey Dave… I hope you went clean and lived happily ever after.
I wonder about that odd kid that sold me a bag of weeds
When I was so desperate for a high so long ago.
He laughed about it
Laughed at my anger
But it was a lesson too: Don’t be so fucking HIGH when you want to score shit.
Decades ago I remember meeting one of the most fearsome of the school bullies
Shocking how he pumped my hand smiling
Pulled out his wallet and smiled so broadly showing me photos of his wife and kids.
I still smile at how HE changed so good … so good.
I wonder about the big guy I saw beating a small kid to a pulp
Or so it seemed
When I was in the mental hospital when I was 8.
How an attendant jumped him and held him down crying.
What happened to you big guy bully?
Did you change or end up in prison
Or an early marked grave
Or just an anonymous grave?
I constantly look around me in life at the bullies
And bad guys
My youth made me know them
I see them now and laugh a little
Then shake my head with compassion because
How we deal with the bullies is about US
It’s a choice
How we heal and continue on through life
Or let them win … by becoming just a little like them.