When I was young,

I felt I was immortal 

An immortal that as I aged and became a young man

I tried to kill

In whatever stupid insane ways I could. 

It was an insane way of living

An insult to what forces created me 

GIVING me this wondrous gift of LIFE.

Now that I am older and wiser,

I desperately want to retain and enhance my health

Live as long as I can

With whatever silver bullets I can find to

If not beat death

Slow that fucker down from earth-ash devouring me.

I used-to drink a lot. Smoked into my early twenties. Used drugs and tried suicide. I ate every damned horrible artery clogging thing I could socially find and eventually… quit it all. 

In food, WHITE became a poison to me. White Rice, flour and sugar. Over the years I would fall off a dietary wagon and indulge heavily in ice cream, snack foods and other sweets. Proof that, “food is a drug”. Addictive. There are good and bad drugs. The basic foods we can find that are not highly processed are the good drugs. I try to eat those now.

We eat too much. That 3 meals a day thing for Americans with too much protein, fat, salt and carbohydrates is poison. It is BRAIN WASHING. We don’t NEED it but are brain washed to WANT it. DESIRE. It reminds me of one of the teachings of Buddhism, that desire creates pain. So much of what we desire does create pain. The fizzy drinks high in sugar are like stabbing ourselves. It gets worse as we age. Yes, when young we feel immortal – we can drink that shit and not feel any bad effects. 

My father had a horrible diet of all that was bad for a person. He lived a long life. I understand WHY he may have lived so long: Calorie restricted diet when young during the Depression years. He was highly active for the first 20 years of his life. GENETICS helped too. Yet genetics also kicked his ass into misery with diabetes. 

Last year I had a blood clot that was a wake-up call about health. More than ever at that 62 years and now near 63 (July 2018) I am more aware than ever of how little time I have left and that I can MAYBE make that time longer with some diet and life style changes. 

Removing the major toxic foods and working on whatever else I can eat or not eat is a big step. I have been doing 24 hour fasts for 5 weeks now. I feel better for it. I work in a factory and that burns a lot of calories and is physically stressful. Take walks after work when my body allows it. When not exhausted from work I feel better than I have in a long time. 

Some people have the luxury of a Bucket List. Me? I just want to keep this body going as long as I can. Do whatever is economically feasible to keep on going. With age came some wisdom. Biggest wisdom?

I decided I wanted to live.

For so many years I wanted to die. Not consciously all the time obsessively just… it was there in how I felt about myself and how I lived. How I lived was a way to die. 

Here we go now… I want to live and an odd way to live is how humans have lived and lived to eat for thousands of years. Eat to survive.

It all comes together.

I want to live and to live … eat smart live smart. 

But if someone offers me a pastry once every few weeks at work… screw it. Live a little 😉

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