I often feel eternally young
By the ghost of an old man with my Face.
The ghost was not always there
It was a face that slowly grew
Pressure on mind and body slightly bending my back
Wrestling with my mind
I often see that ghost forcing his spectral hands inside me
Twist and RAGE
To push him away…
“Leave me alone old man
I am young eternally young inside…”
“Yes” He whispers…
“That may be so inside but look…
Look what my grasp has done to your body
Look at what my bullying of your flesh has done!
Look in the mirror and see my face!”
“I see and feel what you have done to me
I resist you
I fight you
I damn you to distance me
And when I look in the mirror,
I DON’T see your face!
I see that mind’s eye view
Of that young man NOT grown OLDER
But simply wiser…
Weaker and weakening in body
Still young in mind and heart
Stronger in heart and soul … and still … forever young.
Others may see me as the old man I see in the ghost assaulting me
A ghost I fight every day
Yet when I die
Your face will not be Mine:
When I am dying and dead,
I know people will be heard to say, “my, but he looks so YOUNG in death…”””
My youth … pouring out of me,
Released and free from that battle with the ghost of an aging self.