When I was a child and later a teenager, I wanted to be like Jesus. Or the Jesus I imagined from what I had read and heard. Some kind of super hero Giver, Teacher and Healer. As I grew and evolved in life, I lost all belief in anything supernatural but Atheist or not, I continued to simply want to do good.
I could be a Giver by giving in life whatever I could – but to do so UNCONDITIONALLY.
I found I could be a Healer simply by Listening.
I realized I was only a Teacher if someone found something I said or did that was POSITIVELY USEFUL to them. I could never force any “lessons” on anyone. The best “teaching” I could do in life happened without my trying to. Without my knowing I had done it.
In life I have found random people that embodied that super-hero Jesus I imagined when I was young. I see them every day but never tell them they are teachers, givers or healers.
My dentist is a christian of some sort and LIVES GIVING AND HEALING. She has an office of good kind people. Everyone that goes into her office will chat a little I think and with the dental care they leave, their spirits a little lighter.
I have a brother that gave me something. A thing. Without it I would have been ruined by now. He never asked for anything in return. It came to him that he wanted to help me. He made an unconditional offer and I accepted it as long as there were no conditions on it. I DID put my own conditions on it: Conditions of, when I felt gratitude, to call him when opportune and TELL HIM. Nothing forced, pure feeling – with a dose of humor between brothers.
My boss tries to not show his softer side but… it comes out anyway. A “softer” side that is his strongest side. ALL our strongest side. That part of us that shows compassion and or empathy. When I have grieved from loss, he told me to take what time I needed. When any bad time happened, he let me sort myself out. This is a form of giving, to me.
I often see people in the grocery store and we share a simple smile. Maybe a “hi” added to it. It lifts us both up. Such as today I saw an older man that looked sad and lonely. I smiled and said “Hi” and he rose up from himself with a beautiful smile. A connection. Later I was behind him and I watched with pleasure how he and a cashier had a short verbal exchange punctuated with laughter and smiles. It was guerrilla giving and beauty.
I have a coworker named Jim that is very rough on the surface. A constant stream of “fuck’s” leaves his mouth in most conversations. At times I have wondered if he hates me because of how he speaks, ridiculing me. Then I see that he likes me because he genuinely CARES about me. I have noticed that Jim, have mechanical skills will often speak begrudgingly about helping someone. Someone needed help with this or that that needed to be built or repaired. Grumble grumble but… Jim came through. Cursing of course as is Jim’s way. I NEVER hear of him talking about what he GOT from anyone for his labors. He gripes to cover a heart of gold. Tonight I realized that in a very candid fun conversation with rough grizzled “fuck” all the time Jim … he dropped the “fucks” in the conversation! Jim is a misunderstood LIGHT in this world. He does what I think of as “guerrilla kindness”. Does it under cover of bitching, cursing and complaining. If I tell him “good job!” about something he will deny it. I have come to realize that in his own odd way he can be humble. Other times he is controlling sonofabitch but hey we all have our issues.
As I write this I think of how I wanted to be a “holy” man and it was such a big EGO thing. WOW! POWER! Over time and growth I realized that we can all be “holy” super heroes without having to be religious or believe in any prophets or gods. All we need is to be humble and feel a secret inner want to be a good person and DO GOOD. To find a RIGHTNESS in giving.
To teach without intentionally teaching but when there is a lesson in a teaching, it is nothing to feel Ego about. It is often unknown to us. But KNOWN to a person that becomes a student in some minor “ah hah!” moment.
We can all be HEALERS in some small way in life. It is simply CARING and LOVING KINDNESS. Practiced and LIVED as a way of life. It will touch the world and heal it. Heal someone with that smile that came from that older man today as I smiled and said, “hi”.
Or, my wonderful dentist who likes people and thus gives much more than dental care by … CARING for PEOPLE and not just “patients”.