I carry myself like a ghost around my body,
confused at times of who I am,
what I am.

I look at women with desire then
turning I
see my reflection in a window
I turn away from it seeing an old man
and not the young man that just looked at women with desire.

I run and fly in my dreams with the body of a young god
then awaken confused
bed soaked with sweat
body aching from runs and flights I can no longer do
bewildered by this strangers old body I awoke in.

Sometimes I see him watching me
I want to cry with him
that young man that looks so much like me
watching me
that young man that looks like me
but a melting me
a mere reflection of me
rippling ages of my youth in time
shaking his head
their heads of my youth
seeing the OLD man I’ve become
sad so sad
shocked at what I’ve become
they became
WE’ve become,
a man they’d never dreamed we could become
so old…

Their rippling ages of my youth fade watching me
a ghost around my body fading
turning away
turning in way
ashamed of what I’ve become
fading into the time of I WAS
fading into the person I want to be again,
“take me with you” the old man whispers to the many mirrored past selves of Youth,

“I can’t
we can’t
but you can dream of us
and we can torture you with vibrant memories of what you WERE
we can haunt you with us
a joyful melancholic haunting
a torture
of what you were
and what your body and mind still tries to be.

2 thoughts on “My Ghost Around My Body

  1. Excellent! I just turned on the iPad with the dreary intention of writing on the same subject. This is it in a nutshell, especially the part about looking at women with desire, then being shocked into reality by your own reflection.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks Mark! That age thing. We carry that ghost or image of the youth we were thinking at times we still are that then …oops! Dammit we got old! Lady friend of mine on facebook has the same thing happening with her. Interesting so many of us share that. I have to NOT stare at women and kick myself remembering I ain’t that young stud anymore! 😉


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