(I guess this is what some call “venting” )

40 years in the factory. Thoughts from an old workers journal.

They control me because they know I am in debt. The debt is a jail cell I carry with me like a guilty conscience. I constantly pay as much as I can on to not go under in life. The debt came slowly to me over the years. Some of it stupid but the majority from the bad of life happening to me with car repairs, house and health.

I have no skills to use some other work place. Back when I was 22 you could get a decent paying job with only a high school diploma or less. Now at 62 I am probably not wanted as a worker. Too old, burned out and weak. An age when others my age retire.

Nowhere to go where I could make over $16 an hour and support my house and all I have. Car insurance, house, utilities and food. Fortunately no ex wife or kids. Some things I did right.

They believe they can do what they want to me. Without my wages, I fail in life. My humble mobile home may not be supportable. I do not know if I can find new… OR CAN I? The last time I looked for a job, I was a teenager. As a loyal employee I felt secure. Secure in my unique skills. Now nobody in the USA does what I do. I am the last wood inspector of this particular product. There were once many and now … I am the last one.

If I do not want to do a job, they tell me to go home but not get paid for it. So I have to do the shit jobs they want me to do. My blood has changed. Thicker according to the hospital tests. It is because of the change in work the week before last. Intense hard work. I am more susceptible to blood clots again.

They push me to go faster but I cannot. It hurts. It cripples me. My hands cramp and my fingers turn inward. I am old and they do not understand that. They have no empathy about that. They do not know what it is like. They will age but not as painfully as I because of the many years of back breaking joint twisting work I have done and done to profit THEIR company.

I am only important to them on a part time basis. When they need wood inspected. When not, I am expendable to them.

They do not care about my age or pain. The pain they create by forcing me to do the work of younger healthier men.

They are power drunk.
Some workers can do what they want but they push me to exhaustion and crippling damage to my body. All companies have their ass kissing favorites. They do it because they know I am PASSIVE and will not fight them. If I try, they can take away what little good I have there.

They are drunk on their power to CONTROL. Just like others that do the same all over the world. They find something to use against you or me and then they do it for their own sadistic pleasure and to get what they want out of a human. They squeeze the blood and life out of us. They laugh and ridicule me for fun because they CAN and sick as they are, they find it amusing.

The owner of the company has lived an easy privileged life. He denies it but I can see it. He puts on an act of caring but he does not. He loves to hear about the lives of the workers acting concerned. I see it for what it is and for what he is: An emotional vampire. He feeds off of the emotional pain of others. Making lives better is not his thing – although he is a “christian”. A Republican too that has little compassion for the workers. No idea of real PAIN having lived an easy life.

The company is over 100 years old. Past few years they try to constantly cut costs. The only benefits they give are sick/vacation time. No health care – although years ago the owner DID raise my wage a LITTLE to help pay for premium on my Obamacare. Other than that 0. They have found a way to get FREE labor by using workers from a closed head injury group that offers workers for free and then THEY pay the workers. It is therapy to them. For my company it saves them much money by NOT employing full time workers. This saves them NOT paying 2 or more workers full time. NOW I believe they will try to save more money by having ME (ironically a higher paid worker) do the assembly work they are now using some of the CHI workers do when there is no wood for me to inspect. Yes it DOES keep me in a job but it is bad for my blood thickness due to how hard the work is. The intensity of it. They want to NOT have to pay another worker full time. 1 worker left for a better job recently and they are going to try to not replace him. Go cheap! Go free labor! Slave labor except that the CHI people get paid by their company (which runs on insurance money from the workers).

As for what I have written here, I HOPE I am merely PATHOLOGICALLY PARANOID. Having worked there for 40 years, I think not. I think it is experience.

I feel that my weekends are calms before the storms. Being played with by my boss and the owner. Made to work near a coworker that is mentally ill and as an indication of that, plays a radio extremely nauseatingly loud. $170 for noise canceling industrial ear protection to keep me from quitting and losing everything.


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