I am 62 and even though my teen years are 45 and more years ago, I feel them hitting me at times. Hitting me with shock echoes of blows and yells from my father and the laughter of ridicule from people I once knew that have long since forgotten me.
Sometimes I will see a scene in a movie or tv show in which a father is yelling at his son and I flash back to my teen and childhood years. There are things that happen to us that we want to let go of. Gooey mind stuff that clings to us and no matter how we try to push it off; throw it away, it comes back to slap us.
It’s easy to tell myself or advise someone else that the past does not matter that ALL THAT MATTERS IS THIS MOMENT. Yes it is true. Sometimes though for a burning mind moment the violence and pain of the past is awakened in us by the thunder and cries of the physical and mental violence around us.
We can hug ourselves for a moment and hope nobody is watching and speak reassuringly to an awakened resurrected inner child teen and tell them go back to sleep go back to nothing from whence you came for the past does not matter….
But the past often whisper cries to us with our long distant child teen voice, (“yes it does… yes it does for a lightning storm flash and crash of a moment awakened”).